Putting on your Pandemic Goggles
A few short months ago, all of our lives changed. We watched as the red circle in COVID-19 hot spots spread from overseas, into our backyard, and suddenly a pandemic was declared across the world.
Toilet paper and Clorox Bleach wipes were nowhere to be found. The bread and canned food shelves were empty.
Our children were sent home from school with no idea of when they would return to their friends, education, sports.. or any sort of normalcy.
Families were separated, hugs were no longer allowed, communication moved to Zoom and FaceTime.
Grandma and Grandpa's around the world could be heard saying "What? Turn on the Video? It is on! What?? I can't see you?"
Fast forward and we find ourselves in a masked, distanced school society, divided across the Nation. Fear, hate, frustration, anger and the unknown surrounds us in our home, online, and in the streets.
No easy task for any of us, but especially not for those little 'wolves' we are raising. Take it one step further, this is no easy task for the mothers, fathers, parents and villages raising these wolves either.
As a mom, who promotes a healthy, positive lifestyle in my home and amongst my community, I am here to be the first to admit...
"This Shit Sucks!"
None of us are immune to the effects of this pandemic on our health (mental, physical, emotional and spiritual). The Pandemic does not pick and choose who it is going to hit the hardest. During a time of so much unknown, I want to share some of my own experiences and coping mechanisms that have helped me during some of the harder times.
Pandemic Goggles- PUT THEM ON!
My sister called me the other day to talk to me about her
feelings around going back to school, and how sad she
was for her baby to be going to Kindergarten with a mask on.
This is our new reality, and this is hard. But it is so important right now, to look at each of our experiences through Pandemic Goggles. Nothing is as it was, and won't be for quite some time. This was a HARD reality for me to face, just like my sister, but what is important to remember here is EACH OF US are affected in different ways.
There was a time at the beginning of the pandemic, when I sat in my room and let the children just watch TV or play games, or mess the house up, and I did not leave for much more than breakfast, lunch and dinner. They came in and cuddled, or told me stories, but that was about as much energy I had. I was laid off at the beginning of the pandemic and the fear of financially supporting my children solo crippled me.
I was hard on myself as a mother/parent and I could feel that the guilt creep up every day, in my words, feelings, thoughts.. you name it, that I did not use those first few weeks at home to create memories, cut crafts or bake banana bread.
But then I had to have a good old reality check, and realize "We are ALL just surviving right now!"
I actually love to use the phrase:
"Instead of saying SINK OR SWIM.. try FLOATING when you can't SWIM"
Ignore the Internet Memes or Social Media posts that say or show things that make you feel less during a very difficult time. NOW does not have to be the time to learn a skill, if you are just surviving through a job loss, being a single parent, learning how to be at home full time with children, quarantined in a home midst a bad relationship or suffering from mental health/anxiety.
This is what I think (read to the end ) :
So hey, just focus on a little extra self care, love and patience for yourself. And during the tougher times, toss on those goggles to help you see a little clearer!
Patience with your children: Their lives have been turned upside down
On one day in the spring of 2020, children's lives across the world got turned upside down.
Psst…The good thing here for guilt ridden parents, is that no one is alone... EVERY CHILD IN THE WORLD is in the same boat. Your child isn't going to resent you one day my friend, all of our kids are going to be like,
"Remember during CORONA when mom couldn't find toilet paper and we couldn't play in the park?"
Listen, these little ones have been restricted from hugging their friends, grandparents, going to the park, playing in activities and sports. Overall stimulation has been reduced. We know that kids need stimulation, activity and ways to get rid of all that wild energy they have inside. So on the extra hard days that emotions are running on overdrive, and the entire family is Quarantined OUT... take a break, have a family team meeting, watch a movie with all the candy, set up an outdoor backyard challenge. But most importantly, listen to their little voices, this is just as hard (if not harder) on them as it is for you and I!
Patience with yourself
This is a tough one! We are kinder, more patient and sympathetic towards EVERYONE else (before we even think about ourselves.)
But I am going to be the annoying one here to repeat the old saying you hear on the plane before take-off,
“Put your mask on first, before you put on your child’s mask”
WHY?
Because, well on a plane you need your own oxygen if you want to save yourself.
Nothing is different in REAL LIFE.
You need to take care of yourself and have extra patience on the hard days.
Just like your little ones, your life has a whole new spin on it! Many are working at home, some are stuck in quarantine while midst an unhealthy relationship, some are struggling with mental health, parenting is on a whole new mega level with your kids around 24/7 now (no school or activity breaks).
So, my friend, take a few deeps breaths, look inside and challenge yourself to create a self-fulfillment list and do some activities on it (i.e.. Working out, golfing, baking, napping, dancing to your favorite music, painting, reading, bubble baths, building, doing a home project etc.)
Listen, I was not meant to work and parent for 16 hours a day, every day, for 6 months (my break was work, or my kids being at school or in activities). On those hard days that we raise our voices one to many times, be kind to yourself. We are in this together!
Plop your kids down in front of the TV and shut your bedroom door. Surviving might be the best thing you did during COVID --- and that is OK!
Presents from being PRESENT during the pandemic
I am going to close on this thought. I am such a believer of finding intent in your actions and being PRESENT in the moment. That is how we can find our own little sources of joy and PRESENTS during the hard times.
What is also important here is to try and refrain from looking at/to others during the pandemic (to compare yourself to how they are dealing with the pandemic or for guidance) if it effects your mental health.
Each of us have our own experiences and ways to cope and survive the pandemic
Journaling can be really impactful here, it not only allows you to get your feelings out on paper, but you can trace back to the harder days and see how you came through, what you learned and provide you the opportunity to be present in your thoughts, emotions, feelings, experiences and find the little PRESENTS that the universe is leaving for you along the way.
Sending all the POSITIVE Vibes, LOVE and LIGHT during these days!
Hugs
Xo
MeliS’
